The Grass Isn't Greener

Have you ever felt that God uses mysterious ways to answer your prayers?  In the last two months especially, I haven't been very happy.  That's the easiest way to put it.  Nasha has been driving me nuts with her constant destruction.  I've felt overwhelmed with my household duties, been irritated by the small things, and have just felt a general discontent. 

Then, two things happened.  And they have rocked my world.  These are the life-changing things that leave you scratching your head, wondering how in the hell you were ever frustrated by your own charmed life.

A very good friend of mine from back in elementary school lost her unborn baby in January.  It was discovered through a routine ultrasound that the heart had stopped beating.  Then, a co-worker's 4 month old son stopped breathing while at daycare.  They are still trying to determine "why", but they are calling it "SIDS" at this point.  Both of these events have just shaken me to the core.  Sometimes I think it's really human nature to complain about our lives....and want more things or better things, or think that someone else might have it easier or better...like when I would get jealous of friends who had more free time that I did (read that as "more time away from their kids"). 

My whole parenting dynamic has changed.  I am so much more thankful for my kids, even during the hard times.  Now, do I love all of the hard times...(like when Nasha, who's almost 18 months) is still getting up at least 1 time a night (and SHOULD be sleeping through the night by now)...  No, I don't love all of those times.  But, you can bet your ass that when I'm treking to her room for a 3am cuddle session that I am thinking of my two friends who just lost their babies, and how they would give ANYTHING to have their sleep interrupted by their sweet babies.  They would give anything.  I'm not going to grumble about being able to spend more time loving on my sweet angel.  I'm choosing to be thankful in all of the moments.

Now, when I say that God has answered my prayers, please don't misunderstand me.  I don't believe for a minute that God wanted my friends to lose their babies.  But, I absolutely believe that God's message to me, through my friends' heartbreak, is for me to take a lesson from all of this.  I'm listening, God. 

I know it sounds so trite, but it really is true that the Grass Isn't Greener...It's not.  Your Grass is what YOU make of it.